when darkness turns to light

Sunday, July 29, 2007

short book out. feeling rather tired now. jus came back home from coffee and dinner. going to tekong next week for field camp, really dread it! there's just so many things to do! busy busy. and i have concluded something. something which will and change me and my life in someway. seeing everything that is happenening around me, my friends and all. live to enjoy. have much plans for next week! shall meet up with my long lost friend for coffee and meet up with sasi for either clubbing or pool! whoo! field camp sucks but long weekened ahead and humongous pay coming right up! "motivation, got a lot of motivation" and i m glad in a way that i am in ocs because i really made a lot lot of really good friends. friends that are willing to sacrifice for one another. thanks ivan for offering to take up the extra duty with me next week and deciding to stay together with me in infantry! really touched even when he has little time with his girlfriend.

i learned one important thing. its not always about yourself but more about the people around you and how you can help and influence their lives. that i believe is the dearest value that i will remember for as long as it will. :)

i finally understood the real reason, its clear enough i guess. kinda hurts to know but i really should let go.

; 12:14 AM

Saturday, July 21, 2007

2nd post of the day! anyw. jus went to watch harry potter which was REALLY REALLY good! okay but it was so sad to see sirius die. :( and the show had a really dark side to it! but i really enjoyed it. met a lot of ppl! first met my platoon mates, then met mercy, it was like the whole world was out there in town la. even met my sis with her boyfriend and we were in the same theatre but in the end couldnt "ka jiao" her. after the show, the impulse to buy the book was simply too strong, so headed over to borders, and i must say at 1045, the bookstore was still filled with ppl buying the book. i think they all also jus watched finish the show then decided they have to buy the book too! shall go read e book after this, the suspense is killing me! bought tons of things! more to buy! :)

its just so weird. cant really understand. waited for the msg that night like some dumb ass, hoping jus to have a chat. maybe its too wishful of me to think it will happen, am i really that irritating? i guess i must be. oh wells.

; 11:51 PM

tired!! so so tired! thought will be confined but guess not after all! booked out yest night but before that had a whacking session. sometimes when u are down in that push up position, your mind jus switches off, because after doing like hundreds of continous push ups, your hand feels numb, pain seeps into the brain telling you to give up, telling you to let go and jus fall out. but i learned something, close your mind, close your eyes, let the pain breeze through, and everything becomes an ease. same goes for everything else.

going to brunei soon, plus having field camps from almost every week from the week after next.
sounds so "fun"! :)

shall go watch transformers and harry potter now!

; 2:10 PM

Saturday, July 14, 2007

home sweet home finally! after 3 weeks in hell hole, it just felt so good to be able to step out and see civilisation. see REAL people. felt in touch with reality finALLY. the feeling of getting out of that place is just so good! everyday in there was filled with endless boring lectures, and millions of physical training. sometimes you just get so tired and you really want to give up. there was a point of time i even asked myself, " why do i want to go through all these". but i guess i just moved on. the regimentation is atrocious but i shant write more in case i get sued for writing about army stuff. the com there is like redundant, coz i cant blog, cant access blogs. CANT PLAY GAMES, and many more. there are many things i wanna do!! i stil have transformers, harry potter and a lot more movies i wanna watch!! but no time :( and after coming out, i seem to have this compulsive urge to splurge! hehe. jus feel like buying redundant stuff. but i shall control, shall first treat my family to a NICE meal tml with my first pay!! acid bar acid bar! okay i m going a bit mad!
i feel quite lucky to have made a great friend in ocs, ivan tay! it is good if you know u have a friend that can chiong sua with u for 9 months in hell hole.life becomes a lot easier. these 3 weeks was quite fun because we really crapped together a lot! thinking of how to "tekan" recruits next time when we become officers! have tons of ideas! but we both know we wouldnt do that because we are NICE! haha. In there, the people are really quite selfish and arrogant like they think that the whole world belongs to them. i miss times in bmtc where people were jus generally nice and would like have crap talking session everyday. now everyone is so serious and all, kinda bring all the fun out of whats left of army. shall cherish every single minute of civilian life!

now that you are gone, somedays i just keep thinking back. i preserve this valuable piece of our happy memories together. somedays how i wished to see your msg, howi wished i could talk to you like old times. but i no longer have the courage anymore, i no longer dare to wish anymore.how i regretted having let u slipped by. every morning i make a deal, i just wish you will be blessed with a great day. thats all i ask for. i will move on. i promise.

; 7:00 PM